I don`t know if you could help me on this. I have a problem with meeting and accepting women. I am good hearted person, good looking guy but I don`t mind about my style. That makes me average, I guess.

However I want to get a very good looking girl which I freak whenever I meet one. On the contrary I can easily communicate with say average looking girl but after two dates I come to conclusion [not] to meet that girl again. This way I have been single and only one date with a year! yes! last year. I am afraid I am going to be eternal bachelor. Can you help?

It`s interesting how differently we treat good looking women from women we`re familiar with, and the more average looking. I`ve said this before, but it appears that men somehow place more value on the opinion of a good looking woman than an average or below-average gal. (It`s actually a well-known fact that good looking people are believed to be more trustable.)

A lot of guys fall into the trap of thinking that if you just go after a woman that isn`t too challenging for you, you can have sex and not have to deal with all that bullshit. The fact is that your mind knows when you have settled for less, and you`ll find yourself wanting out so badly so quickly. Every guy has probably tried this at one time or another and learned the horrible truth, the way you have after your initial one or two dates. They don`t have enough to attract you back for more, and so you bounce back and forth between the ones you want (but have a tough time overcoming the intimidation) and the ones you don`t want (that are easy, because you`re not as invested in the outcome.)

I believe you`re going to have to work your way into this a little. It`s just not reasonable to think you can jump in the deep end of the pool if you find yourself freaking out as you walk down the steps into the shallow end.

Women have extremely keen sense when it comes to your confidence. Attractive women doubly so. If you`re not congruent with all your body language, attitude, and words, she`ll sniff you right out. Women who are attractive get a lot of interest from men, and a lot of interest from men they have no interest in.

So what would YOU do if you kept getting approached all day long by women you weren`t interested in? You`d learn clever ways to blow them off or get them out of your hair. You`d put up fake obstacles that would challenge the wimps (and the wimps would fail), and the ones that overcame those obstacles could stay on the island a little longer. (Does anyone still watch "Survivor"?)

The average girls you find are probably easier to be relaxed around, and as a result you find that you have no problems with them. OH, except one... You`re not ATTRACTED to them. I hate it when that happens.

My question is that if you are finding it easy to communicate with the average girls, why should good looking ones be ANY DIFFERENT? (Trick question - They`re NOT.) You see, what you`ve got is a mental block that most guys have.

Think about it this way. You`re sitting at home one night, and you take three phone calls from three different women you`ve never met or seen before. (Let`s say you put up a personal ad.) You get along fabulously with all three (since you have no way to know what they look like) and setup dates with all three for the next week. Two out of the three turn out to be gorgeous, and the other one is only `average`.

Now what if you were sitting across the table from all three of them and talking to them? Different story, huh? You`d probably find yourself immediately nervous in front of the two hot ones, wouldn`t you?

What`s the difference between the two situations?

Just ONE thing: What you are THINKING. Your thoughts are your traitors. Because you know damn well that you would have had no problem if you couldn`t SEE these women and thus be intimidated by their appearance, right?

So the trick is to start changing how you THINK about women. Not always easy, but not necessarily hard, either.

I suggest you start working on two different angles:

1) Work on your belief system. Something inside you believes that an attractive woman is intimidating - just because she is hot. In reality, you have to start realizing, remembering, and reinforcing that attractive women are NO better than any of the rest. The ONLY difference they have is their vanity, and a bravado that covers up what is almost always a damaged self-esteem. When all you have is your appearance, you live in fear of the loss of it. There is no true sense of confidence if you are basing your self-perception on your looks. As a result, these women are actually EASIER than most other women because they have more general and predictable patterns of behavior. (I cover this in detail in the e-book.)

2) Work on your acclimation. The only way you`ll ever be successful with the attractive women is if you can be relaxed around them. That won`t happen overnight. You have to gradually get used to their presence, to the point where it doesn`t even faze you in the slightest. Your goal should always be to achieve a state where there is NO ONE who intimidates you. (Imagine being able to just walk up to the President and slap him on the back, and then start to give him some foreign policy advice. No one frightens you.)

What you do to get acclimated (and eventually NUMB) to good looking women is this:

- Start spotting the hot women. This one is a no-brainer; 99% of guys do this all the time.
- Start observing the hot women. I don`t mean just watching those perky little boobies and her tight bubble-butt, either. I mean observe their ACTIONS. Watch how they behave and you`ll start to notice something very interesting: They are just as insecure and nervous as most of the guys out there, if not more. And the women who don`t appear insecure are hiding it under a bitch shield.
- Start making eye contact with all women. Push yourself to make eye contact with every woman you pass by on the street. Practice this until you can hold it (non-threateningly) for at least 3-5 seconds, or until she looks away - whichever takes LONGER. When you have this mastered...
- Start saying hello to the women. Just a quick "Hi" is enough. Some will return it, some won`t. But the fact is that you`ll be the better person for having taken the risk.
- Start approaching the hot women. I`ve already written loads on this, here and in the books.
- Start teasing and busting their balls. Again, if you read the e-books, you`ll have no problem picking this up.

By the time you get to that last step, you`re going to feel pretty comfortable around ALL women, regardless of their physical attributes.

If there`s one thing you keep on your mind, make it this: Almost every single person you meet has at least as many (if not MORE) insecurities than you do.

Yes, that`s completely true.

If you can start to build that belief in you, you`re going to find that attractive women no longer freak you out in the slightest. You`ll have conquered your Mt. Everest.