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How To Tell A Woman Is Sexually Open
Dear Sex Doctor,
I am a Christian and am interested in finding a Christian woman. The problem is that I've also gotten over all of the sexual hang-ups that most Christians face.
I'm not looking to have sex with a lot of women, but would like to find one that is interested in sex but that also honors her faith. Is there a way to recognize a woman that is sexually open and is willing to explore her sexuality from one that is "prudish"?
-------------------------------------------
Yes, there are women that are more sexual than others, but here's an important fact: any woman can learn to be open and less "prudish" if she meets the right guy. The "right guy" is one that can help her embrace her own sexuality as the powerful gift that it is. This quality however isn't born in men, it's learned.
The challenge comes in your plan. You want to meet just the exact right person at just the exact right time with the exact right attitude, without any experience! That's asking for one hell (pardon the pun), of a lot!
Dating - even if you have every possible skill in the book - isn't about meeting only women that are exactly right for you. In fact, it's much like an airplane's autopilot. When a pilot sets the autopilot in a plane, the plane actually spends 99% of its time off course! Every time it gets off course it makes small corrections to come back onto course, and then veers back off course again.
Sex is like this too! How are you ever going to know exactly what woman is the "right" one for you without sexual experience? You don't even know your own sexuality yet. That is something that you learn over time, and usually with different partners.
You see, every person's sexuality is unique to himself or herself. Each of us has particular needs and interest in every aspect of the game of sex. While some adopt what I call a "hardened attitude" toward their sexualities, I believe that the healthiest of us learn flexibility. The reason is that your partner(s) are going to have their own needs and attitudes different from yours!
So, the best philosophy is to be an adventurer rather than a traveler. A traveler has a single destination and is finished when he reaches it. An adventurer explores until he finds his ultimate destination. Of course, he does this with some smarts behind him - he takes what he believes he will need, educates himself to the greatest degree possible, and then sets out not to reach, but to learn. He knows that when he finds what he's looking for it will be obvious to him, and he will stop to find his next adventure.
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? Dr. Neder answers all email. Write him at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers. Learn about his book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", at: www.beingaman.com.
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