I am a new student of yours as I just purchased [Dating Insider] to help improve my dating skills. I was married before and am divorced now. I am trying to go back to date some women.

I didn`t have that much dating experience with women before I met my ex-wife, so this is still a new game to me after 8 years of marriage.

Through online personals, I met a very nice lady whom I became very good friends with. We plan to spent an hour together about every week or two, but each time the meeting lasts about 3 hours or longer. I work two jobs now and don`t have much time left, but seems like we can find time to meet.

The problem she has is she was divorced and her failing marriage scared her from having another relationship. Now I`m not sure if that`s an excuse to avoid me and wants to keep our relationship to just the friendship level, or if she was actually telling the truth. I believe it’s the truth, because there were a few men, (also from the internet), that were trying to pursue a relationship with her and she also declined them.

I feel empty after she told me that she just wanted to be friends. I am willing to accept this as reality. But my question is, do you still be able to see me having the ability to change her mind and make her fall in love with me? Maybe it`s too new of the game for me that I cannot let go of her. But I really do have strong feelings towards her and if your book can help me out, I would certainly give it an honest try.

Please give me some ideas. Thank you.

Hello,

Congratulations on becoming a member! You`re going to be quite impressed with the knowledge you gain, and I`m very proud of you for taking this step.

Regarding this woman, you`ve got to avoid becoming the "friend" at all costs! You DO NOT want to become her friend, and then try to "work it from the inside". My brother, that just doesn`t work. If all she sees you as is her "friend”, you may have already crossed that line, and may need to move on.

One way to do this is to take things away from her. Of course, to do this, you need to be building your game with other women as well as her! You mentioned that you have limited time, and this is going to be an issue for you as you grow your skills.

You need to tell this woman that you have enough friends and that isn’t what you’re interested in with her. Consider the fact that she has a personal ad on the Internet – why do you think that’s so? Because she’s looking for more "friends”? Of course not! She’s looking for a guy that will make her feel like a woman. The "friends” thing is just a smokescreen for the real issues – her fear and lack of interest. To overcome these things, you need to make her feel like she’s going to lose something if she doesn’t act.

You do this by dating more than just her, so on to how you’ll do this.

If you`re busy, fine. But consider this: everyone has the same 168 hours in a week that you do. The trick is deciding what`s most important to you. You have to work, eat and sleep, but what you do with your remaining hours is the key. You might not have tons of free time, but YOU DO HAVE FREE TIME. You need to learn to use it judiciously.

The best thing to do is to get yourself a pocket calendar. It should be organized by "week at a glance" rather than by month or day. That way, you can visualize an entire week at a time. In this calendar, mark off your work schedule. There is time you have to devote to work, and can`t apply to your dating life. Remember however, lunch hours are yours, and are just one chunk of free time you have to work with.

Next, go through and visualize the rest of your schedule. You probably have other things that you do, and if they are important to you, they should be listed in your schedule too. What is left is your "dating time". These are hours you have that you can use to meet and date women!

One part of your schedule should be time to get out and actually meet women along with working on the current one. I tell guys this all the time: don`t focus on a single woman; try to run 2, 3 or 4 at a time. You`re going to need time to meet these other women so put that in your schedule!

By doing this, you`re getting your time organized, and you will get the most you can out of what limited hours you have. Remember, we all have the same 168 hours in a week, so that`s not the key. The key is in how you use them.

Best regards...