Articles and links for sex tips, dating advice and sex positions to educate and help you know more in the 'Bedroom'.
Meet Sexy Girls - Forget flowers, holding hands and goodnight pecks on the cheek... Unless that's what you like. 100% FREE TO JOIN!
Bedroom Insider
           BedroomInsider.com is an Online Magazine Dedicated to Sex Tips, Sex Positions, Dating Advice, and Sex Education.
HomeSex TipsDating AdviceQ&A StoriesMen's FantasiesWomen's FantasiesRate Your Mate

ADD: BedroomInsider.com To Your Home Page
ADD: BedroomInsider.com To Your Favorites

My "Friend" Wants More!

Dear Sex Doctor,

I've been friends with a girl in my university program for 3 years now, and while I was on studying abroad this past semester, she emailed me and said she wanted 'to give us a try' as a couple.

She said she felt she didn't want to miss this opportunity. I had just started my exchange semester, and I didn't even want to think about it...firstly because I had met so many beautiful women so far on the trip, and secondly, because this girl was sooooo far away and I wouldn't even see her for another few months.

So I wrote back telling her that I was working out a lot of things in my life on this trip and although her suggestion was not a total shock, I could not start a relationship at the time under those circumstances. She wrote back and agreed that it was rather impulsive and that she supported what I was doing.

Now that I have returned home, I can't stop thinking about it. She is a very special girl. She has a lot of the attributes I look for...in fact, there was a time in our first year when I may have been interested, that is, before we became friends.

Now, I don't know what to do. Should I risk the friendship? I already feel awkward around her, because I know how she feels. She had been bottling those feelings up for a while. We have not spoken of the email face to face...I don't think that would be a good idea either because it would not serve a purpose unless I was asking her out or something.

What I want to know from you is that IF I decide to ask her out, how should I do it? Should I expect a 'YES'. Is it quite possible that she would say 'No'? Does it matter? I'm already at an advantage in a way, but would she feel disadvantaged if I asked her out because I already know she likes me. The way I figure it, I should take it from a 'fresh start' point of view; pretend that she never sent that email. That way, if she says no, I won't be confused and it would make her feel like she could say no if she wanted.

What do you think? What complicates this issue is the number of common friends we have - people talk, which makes life harder since we all study together and are all going into our final year.

-------------------------------------------

It's almost a given - as soon as a guy gets scarce, that "friend" he's been wanting to turn into something else finally gets the clue and does it first! I just wish guys would believe this, as your example (and tons of others show!)

You've asked if you should "risk the friendship", and obviously, I can't answer that specifically for you because I don't know what the "friendship" means to anyone involved, However, that said, if you move ahead with something more with her, the friendship will absolutely be over. There's no changing that fact. But then, so what? If all you're looking for is friendships and not relationships, do nothing.

You'll have to decide if you DO want something more, and if you want something more with this woman or not. If so, here's what you do next.

First, when you're alone with her, tell her to clear her Saturday night - don't ask her, just tell her - and say you'll pick her up at 7 pm (or whenever). Next, show up with a different attitude. This is now a date. When you pick her up, kiss her right then and there. Not only will this set the tone of the evening, but it will really throw her off balance - something she'll actually appreciate. If you need some tips on this, here's an article that will help:

http://www.beingaman.com/the_opening_kiss.htm

During your date, go out, have fun, but don't go to the movies or a concert. You need some "face time" with her. You want to be romantic and close, but turn the conversation around to talk about how she sees a possible relationship with you. Ask her to describe it. It will be somewhat uncomfortable at first - that's normal, but don't leave things up in the air if you really want something with her. You're just trying to determine if you and she want the same things. By the way, making this a romantic date is a critical step - I call this "getting her into state", so that she can see, feel, hear, taste and smell what it would be like.

Finally, after you've talked about it, don't hesitate to discuss what you want to do with your friends! They are her friends too, and if you think they may not be conducive to building your relationship - especially early on - agree to hide it until it is something more solid.

Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? Dr. Neder answers all email. Write him at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers. Learn about his book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", at: www.beingaman.com.
 
Popular Articles on BedroomInsider

Sex Positions
Erotic Sex Positions
"Did you know that the deepest you can penetrate the vagina with your penis is "behind her with her leg cocked up and to the side”.
Threesomes - Show Two Women A Good Time
"Coincidentally making a threesome happen is easier than you think, here are some helpful tips."
Spanking During Sex
"Sometimes nothing feels better than having that ass spanked like you are in trouble!"
How Can Women Be Great In Bed?
"What does a woman need to do for a man to say, "Wow, She is great in bed"?

Sex Tips
Rough Sex
"When is the line crossed between pleasure and pain?" You must have balance.
Top 20 Sex Tips
"20 Surefire ways to keep the girls wet and ready for any occasion."
The Best Condoms
"The best condom in the world feels like you are naked and does not break!"
Men - Ice And Masturbation
"The first trick of the trade is ICE CUBES. If you want to have a BLAST!"



Dating Advice
Virgins
"TAKE IT SLOW. Take your time and communicate, because communication is the foundation of Sexual Compatibility."
Tips On Blind Dates
"Plan a DAY DATE – Day dates are cheaper and shorter, plus you get to see it all."
Top 10 Dating Tips For Meeting Men & Women
"These tips are designed to encompass most aspects of the real world expectations of savvy singles."
Just How Does A Guy Meet A Girl, Anyway?
"I've never really known much of anything about dating. I'm 26 years old and I've never had a serious relationship."

Seduction Articles
Sexy Films To Get Her In The Mood
"If you’ve been looking for a way to get your gal in the mood, and if having her check out your favorite porn is definitely not something she’s interested in doing, this should help."
How to Pick Up Women In Bars and Clubs
"When women go to clubs and bars, they have their "Man Shield" firmly in place."
How Being Persistent Can Get You Laid
"In order to master any skill and accomplish any goal you need to break it down into what I call "bite sized chews”.

BedroomInsider.com - Browse Our Reader Favorites:

Doggie Style Sex
Men's Top 5 Sex Positions
Erotic Sex Positions
Top 20 Sex Tips
Safe Sex

Ask A Girl Out
Approaching Women
Pick Up Lines
Flirting
Threesomes


  © BedroomInsider.com: Sex Tips and Dating Advice  All rights reserved.
Home • Contact • Sex Tips • Dating Advice • Sex Q&A's • Men's fantasies • Women's fantasies • Rate Your Mate •      Links:   Dating • Advice • Sex Toys