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She's Going to Show You What Real "Hurt" Is!
Hello Doc!
I have been involved in a relationship for some time now. We have had our
ups and our downs. Recently, we decided to date "unofficially" meaning we
can both date around but not have sex but can kiss others. This time
period of our "unofficial" dating lasted for about two weeks. And when we
did it I promised her I would stay committed and not date around and just
date her. She did not make that same promise to me.
About a week and a half ago we decided to date officially again and I
asked her if she had dated or kissed anyone else. And her reply was no.
And all of her friends say that she couldn't bear to put me through her
dating someone else which I see as a good thing. But, we (meaning she)
decided we should date unofficially during a high time in our
relationship.
What does this mean? I asked her. And I know she has been hurt in the past
and doesn't want me to hurt her but she also once told me that she has all
of her trust invested in me. Now, I believe that she didn't date around
(because all of her off time she and me were dating), and didn't kiss
anyone. But did she want to date around or was she scared of me hurting
her. She said at first that kissing other guys she would consider cheating
on her part. But about a week into being unofficial she randomly changed
her mind. I trust her and know that she had a reason to change her mind
other then her actually kissing someone else or anything.
She says that she dated around because she wanted to see how important I
am to her and that's why only two weeks into the unofficially we became
official again. I think that she was worried about me hurting her. Now we
currently are on a high point, but I still want to prove to her that I am
not going to hurt her. How do I show this? And how do I show that I know
that I am important to her and that she is important to me other then just
surprising her because I already do that as much as possible.
=====================
Hello!
Here's how: by being the pussy that you've already been in this
relationship. Now, not only does she know that she can "trust" you not to
hurt her, she also knows that she can walk all over you, do anything she
wants to do, change the rules at her own whim, date, kiss or even have sex
with other guys, or anything else she wants - all because you made it
possible for her.
What in the hell are you thinking? Is this really the kind of relationship
you want with her? You're not responsible for her mental health. So, she's
been hurt before, huh? Boo hoo! Poor baby. All of us have been hurt
before. What makes HER so special that she gets to make you responsible
for it?
If she wants a real, mature, healthy, adult relationship; that involves
risk - just as it does for everyone else. You can't take away that risk
even if you try. The fact remains that she has her own choices to make
about her relationship. All you've done is given her an excuse to do
anything she damn well pleases to do - including walking all over you.
I strongly urge you to get your education about women straightened out. As
soon as she meets a real man, she's going to show you what hurt is. Trust
me on this one!
Best regards...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all
email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more
information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volumes I &
II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion
group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
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