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Stop The Madness
Dear Sex Doctor,
I dated this lady on and off for ten years because of relationships she had throughout our relationship. I was married and in law school when I met her and she was going through a divorce but because I enjoyed her company I spent a lot of time with her.
I was seen in public quite often with her and basically I fell in love with her and lost my marriage. We would find time to spend together and it seemed as though we were happy with each other. Throughout the relationship I tried to do whatever I could for her but it was never enough. I tried to show my devotion and loyalty to her. I also bought diamonds, watches, furs, vacations, I helped her start her own business things that none of her other male friends ever did for her. It never seemed as though she appreciated anything that I did for her. She was even about to marry someone else but when that did not work out she came right back to me and I accepted her back.
She also has the belief that a man is supposed to take care of her financially and she does not have to do anything for him and I love her enough to give her everything I have. All that I ask is that she shows me that she cares about me.
If I ask her over she never has time, when she goes out of town she goes with her girlfriends, but if she needs or wants something from me she will call me every morning and 3-4 times during the day. She is now self-employed but she is also in financial trouble because of the jobs that she had she lost due to her attitude. I know she has other resources (older guys and ex friends) that she received money from in addition to me. She tells people that she just wants to be my friend but anytime she needs me or something happens she calls or she asks me for money and when I want her to do something for me that's when the problem starts she doesn't have time.
I recently proposed to her and she said no. Someone told me that she told people I proposed to her and that she had to get rid of me. Now I don't call her she doesn't call me and it seems that she hates me but I can't understand why when all I've tried to do was love and receive love in return. She has told me to just go on with my life that we are from two different worlds but when I took a date to a banquet she told me she would never forgive me, and when I allowed a friend to spend a week with me and she called my home and my friend answered the phone she was very upset. I never stopped hearing about that incident, but if I say anything to her about her relationships I'm throwing it up in her face!
It's crazy but I miss talking to her but everyone tells me to leave her alone that she is a user, gold-digger, etc, but that's easier said than done.
-------------------------------------------
I have another word for this woman: "prostitute". What else do you call a woman that "sells" herself emotionally, physically and as a friend for money?
I wonder if you'd do me a favor - would you send me $5,000 - I'll be your friend too. I'll call you if and when I feel like it, I'll answer your email (this one's free however), but I sure as hell won't sleep with you or do anything that isn't convenient, or something that I wanted to do in the first place. Ok?
Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? That's exactly what your situation is - ridiculous. You've tried buying your way into this woman's heart and pants, and she's just become tired of it - after you got raped!
Where in the hell did you ever get the idea that this could ever work? You've been completely used and taken advantage of. I see it, your friends see it, this bitch KNOWS it - everyone sees it but you! Is there any wonder that she has absolutely no respect for you, and mistreats you?
Women DO NOT want to be with a guy that they can walk all over, and that keeps coming back for more. There's even a bunch of science behind this that I won't bore you with. Suffice it to say that until you get your self-respect built up, and stop trying to buy women, you're always going to be right in the situation you are now. If not with this woman, with someone else!
Stop being a jackass right now!
Here's what I want you to do: first, change your telephone numbers, and ONLY give it out to your close TRUSTED friends, (these are the ones that don't accept money or favors from you to stay around). I want you stop calling, talking to, seeing, thinking about, or in any way having anything to do with this using whore, or her friends, family, business associates, or anyone else she has any contact with.
You are going to have to go on a bitch-diet right here, right now. Don't try to wean yourself off of her - go cold turkey. No more of this abuse! No excuses! Get your head on straight and start seeing this for what it is - a very, very painful, very self-inflicted lesson.
I'm sure you're a nice guy but being that nice guy is what got you into this mess in the first place. Do yourself a favor and get a copy of "Being a Man in a Woman's World" and start changing your perspective. As soon as you do, you're going to see quality women, with respect (both for you and themselves), being interested in you, and this user will be a long-forgotten memory.
You deserve much, much better than this!
Have a love, relationship or man/woman question? Dr. Neder answers all email. Write him at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers. Learn about his book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", at: www.beingaman.com.
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