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Top 20 Sex Tips
~The Essential Top 10~
Tip #1 – Shock the Monkey
Keep your genitals trim and clean – This means you groom all over from head to toe and you always smell fresh and this includes your breath.
Tip #2 – Girl Scout/Boy Scout
BE PREPARED. Random sex happens often with people and yet no one carries a condom or is on the pill. Ladies you carry a purse all the time, would carrying a few rubbers kill you? It is better than an S.T.D. or a b.a.b.y.
Tip #3 – Landing Pad
Your car and where you live are a direct reflection of you – keep them as clean as your private parts. As I said random sex happens often so if you have a small apartment then empty the trash.
Tip #4 – Pack Animals
Random or not, when prowling for guys or girls – travel light. I always say travel in “odd” numbers (1,3 or 5). When you travel alone or with odd numbers you create “choice” not “competition”. If a guy walks up to two girls they compete, if he walks up to three they challenge him. Even numbers make people feel “set up” before they choose.
Tip #5 – The Date Whisperer
Learn how to whisper – learn how to talk soft and speak sexy. Girls have mastered this in the bedroom but when a guy or a girl can whisper something to you in public that “floors” you then sex is around the corner. Say something ordinary but whisper it, “You look great in those jeans”.
Tip #6 – Hands On Training
A good sign of things to come is the “hands on” approach. If she is touching you a lot during the date then she does not mind you in her bubble. Guys must take this slower because they are perpetually horny and it can be translated that way if they touch too much. Test the waters by touching their arm or shoulder during a conversation, then the leg or back and finally the hand.
Tip #7 – Sell, Sell and Sell
On the date or before the date on the telephone it is important to “plant seeds”. Suggestive selling is to make innuendos. Make a comment that is “border line” sexual or suggestive and have fun with it because you don’t know her sexual appetite. She may be bi-sexual and just waiting for you to bring it up. Trust me I know.
Tip #8 – Order the Funny Bone
This should be higher on the list but I was busy worried about your breath and condoms. That was funny, you see when you can make a girl laugh then you are in. If you are a girl and you are funny like “I love Lucy” funny then everyone has a good time. Good times!
Tip #9 – Delta Force
Any situation that has to be “forced” is not a good one. Have you ever tried to force a square peg through a round hole? It is the same as trying to force someone to like you. Don’t force your “hand” by being too aggressive or pushing the sex issue before everyone is ready.
Tip #10 – Game Time
Don’t waste anyone’s time. Ladies quit trying to score free meals and guys quit trying to take her home the same night. If you are going to go out with someone then “go out with them”. Dating is hard enough without everyone playing games for ulterior motives. Play to win not to play.
~The Dirty bottom 10~
Tip #11 – No Faking
Ladies, no faking orgasms and men no faking sincerity to get the pooty. Make this deal that there is no faking or lying or deception about who you are dating or STD’s or children or anything that will come back to haunt you.
Tip #12 – Litmus Test
Sex, drugs and rock & roll are okay if everyone does drugs. Otherwise you look like a doper and who wants to look like a doper? Don’t pull the drugs out or show up drugged out – bring it up in conversation. He/she might have drugs on them while you are talking about it just waiting to bust out the chronic.
Tip #13 – Mother May I?
“Ask and you shall receive”. If you want to ejaculate in her mouth, ask first. If you want to ejaculate in her vagina, ask first. If you want anal, ask first. If you want her to bang your friend Joey A., ask first. Don’t surprise her with anything that requires permission or she may surprise you with, “No you may not”.
Tip #14 – First Come First Serve
Always let your partner come first…GUYS. You thought I was talking to the ladies that time didn’t you? Well there is an old rule of thumb when it comes to sex…”Take care of mama first”.
Tip #15 – No Evidence
When you go to a guy’s house or girl’s house to have sex don’t take anything but you and protection. I take my watch off in the car and empty my pockets before I go in because I have left more crap at a girl’s place that I never wanted to see again. If you have a lousy time you don’t want to have to return to the scene of the crime.
Tip #16 – Need To Know
In the military “information” is on a need to know basis. Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answer to. A bad question will spoil the mood! Don’t ask who the girl in the picture is or who the guy on the fridge is because you are there and they are not so it does not matter anyway. Don’t forfeit information about your past that you don’t need to either – they will remember it if they like you more than you like them.
Tip #17 – 4Play For Play
Have fun! Treat every time like it is your last time. If this was your last time having sex wouldn’t you have tons of 4-play? Of course you would. You would lick and suck your partner to death. I suggest this every time.
Tip #18 – Post Play
The after “sex” will separate the cream from the crop. After you devour your partner in bed, try stroking their back or playing with their hair or rubbing their feet to win extra points. They will want you even more.
Tip #19 – Be a Giver
If you both take this attitude then you will both strive to satisfy the other person. Learn to satisfy yourself from satisfying others.
Tip #20 – KISS
Keep it simple stupid. It is just a date, and it is just sex.
By Jackson Morris
Copyright © 2007, BedroomInsider.com
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